I can explain, Officer...

So. After nearly 3 years of living in NY, it finally happened. They caught me.

After deciding to NOT go to the mall after work on Tuesday, I head home, taking my normal route while singing incredibly off-key to some horrible song on the radio. About halfway home, I see a small checkpoint with three cops stopping traffic going both directions. I was the fifth car in line so I'm watching as the cars ahead of me get stopped. The cop looks through the windshields and lets them all go.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking "Ooh, what's going on? There must've been a kidnapping or prison break or something!" I seriously thought they were looking in the cars for someone in particular. And obviously I'm home free because I'm harboring no fugitives or small children (to my knowledge) in the back of my car.

If only I was right. Or harboring a fugitive.

Apparently this stupid state sets up checkpoints to check inspection stickers.

Now here's where my ignorance comes into play. In NY, when you register your car, they give you two stickers to put on your windshield. One is for your inspection, the other for the registration. The registration sticker is big and has a HUGE, obvious date stamped on it. 4/10, in my case. So I'm good right for another month, right?

Nope.

Apparently my inspection sticker has a different date on it. 3/09 to be exact. Oops. In my defense, you can BARELY read the date on that sticker. And I seriously didn't notice that it had expired until about a month ago. And at that point I was like "well, I've made it this far, I might as well see how much longer I can go."

Stupid, stupid girl. This is what you get for f-ing with the law!

So I pull up to the checkpoint, the officer looks through my windshield and waves me on. At least that's what I thought. I start to pull away when he yells something and throws his hands up. Great, now he thinks I was trying to leave the scene of a crime(?) or whatever.

I roll down my window (thank GOD I wasn't on the phone and miraculously had my seatbelt on) and he asks me what's up with my inspection sticker.

"What are you talking about, Officer? It expires in April." See, I'm playing dumb. I could be an actress.

Then he explains that no, that's your registration...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm still thinking I can fool him into thinking I really am an idiot and didn't know any better. So I get all upset and explain to him that I'm from out of state and the last state that I lived in had different rules. In that fine state, your inspection and registration expire at the SAME TIME! Imagine that. Makes sense, right Mr. Officer?

No dice.

"Please pull over there in front of my police car."

DAMMIT!!!!

Here come the tears. I truly cannot help it. When confronted, yelled at, belittled, etc, etc, etc, I cry. That's what I do.

And apparently (I think I've used that word a few too many times for one post) he didn't believe my crap acting anyway. (Probably because I was a bumbling, nervous idiot, tripping over my words... so much for my top notch acting skills.) He came over, took my license, insurance card and registration. Now I'm sweating. Not that there's anything for him to find but my driver's license has my current last name, my insurance card has the ex-husband's last name and my car is registered in my maiden name. He's probably gonna be all confused and write me another ticket just because I don't have my shit straight. Oy.

Long story, well, long... he gave me a ticket because "this is your car and even if you say you weren't aware of the rules, you should've been. Any questions? Good." And he walked off. No "have a nice night" or anything. The makeup running down my face probably scared him.

So. I have a court date in a few weeks. Joy. Think I can plead my ignorance to the judge? ha.

I knew I should've gone to the mall.

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I'm heading to Chicago this afternoon for my future sister-in-law's bachelorette party so there will be no posting til I return on Monday. Don't cry, you can make it a few days without my wit, right? ;)