Grandma's Cardinals

This is my grandma (and grandpa) Plue, my mom's mom, and me at 9 months old.

She passed away years ago.  December 9, 1999 to be exact.

I miss her.

My mom, grandma and I were quite close.

I have so many fond memories of going to Grandma's house to sit around the kitchen table for hours of Canasta, Rummy or Rack-O games.  The three of us used to have pretty fierce matches that would last all day.  The conversation and laughs we shared over those cards are priceless to me and one of the reasons I hope to be lucky enough to have a daughter someday (maybe October?).  The bond that the three of us had was so incredible and I hope to have the same with my mother and my daughter.

My grandma loved cardinals.

She had cardinal figurines/pictures/magnets all over her house.  

To this day, anytime I see a cardinal I'm reminded of her.

I've been thinking of her quite a bit throughout this pregnancy.  Her birthday was October 26.  My original due date was October 24 (now the 22nd) but I can't help but hope that my baby will be born on her birthday.  And after nearly a year of trying to get pregnant I can only think that she had some hand in the fact that this was finally my month.  And the fact that I found out on her daughter, my mother's birthday.

I also truly feel like she's become this baby's guardian angel of sorts.  Since becoming pregnant I've seen cardinals everywhere.  Only one at a time, but the sightings have been frequent.  The first happened while I was with a client, standing on her back porch looking at the yard.  My gaze immediately fell upon a cardinal.  

The next sighting, and perhaps the most poignant, happened while Nick and I were at my OB's office for the first time, around 11 weeks pregnant.  We were sitting in the doctor's office, at her desk when we heard a persistent tapping at the window to our left.  After a few minutes, Nick tapped my shoulder and pointed.  I looked over and saw a cardinal sitting on the window ledge just outside the window, tapping on the glass with it's beak.  If that wasn't a sign that my grandma is watching over this child, I don't know what is.

I've seen several more beautiful, red birds since and hope to keep seeing them.  It brings me a peace.  A peace that this baby is looked after.  A peace that my grandma is still a huge part of my life, even after being gone from my physical life for over a decade.  A peace that our bond is still just as strong.  

A peace that she's always with me.