Confession to myself.

I haven't been being honest.

See this pretty little weight tracker from my Spark People page?

It looks pretty great, right?  I'm so close to the finish.

If only I was being honest.

I was honest when I logged that beautiful 133 back in, oh, October.

I even managed to get down to 131.5 for a few glorious days.

And even better than that, I stayed put at 132 throughout the ENTIRE holiday season.  I call that an accomplishment.

Somewhere along the line in January, though, I got horribly off track.  In my own defense, I had a very busy social calendar. 

And as previously discussed, I don't do well when I'm walking through life tired and hungover.

I still went to boot camp once or twice a week and played volleyball a few times but other than that, I got almost no exercise for a full 6 weeks.  I have no excuse other than pure laziness on my part.  I also ate like crap.  Those six days in St. Louis were brutal... mexican and margaritas, way too much wine, late night drunk-sledding followed a trip to White Castle, etc, etc, etc...

Somewhere near the end of January, I reluctantly stepped on the scale.

137.

Oh.  My.  God.

I mean, I guess I wasn't truly shocked.  5lbs isn't all that much when you consider the crap I put in my body, but damn.  I was so happy at 132. 

Enter February and slightly warmer weather.  I got back on the exercise train with a couple outdoor runs and I've been going to spin class at least twice a week and playing volleyball every Thursday.  And I've gotten my eating back on track.  For the most part.  I eat so well Monday-Friday then blow it every weekend with multiple course meals and far too much alcohol. 

So explain to me why I was surprised when I stepped on the scale Saturday morning to see it read 137.8. 

Surpisingly though, I don't feel all that bad about myself.  My clothes still fit, only some pants are a bit tight and I think I look pretty damn good.

I've come to a conclusion though.  This high-maintenance, calorie-tracking, exercise-fiendish lifestyle I try to live really isn't condusive to my wine-loving, social-hostessing, all-around-fun life.

So in an effort to be honest with myself, I'm changing my weight-tracker to reflect this weight gain and I plan to be fully honest with how well (or not well) I'm eating and not let a few nights of fun hinder my progress.

Ah, honesty... be nice to me please.